A Helping Hand in the Darkness
by Durotos
Summary: "Does no one really understand or do they prefer to just not look around them?" Karen has a hard time expressing herself during the best of times, but after an argument with her father, she is left reeling and desperate for relief. HM64. Written for a special friend's birthday!


_**Author's Note: This was written for my dear friend, Moomieluv, who is celebrating her birthday today. I wish I could spend it with you, and I hope that your day is amazing! Someone as kind and sweet as you deserves the best day ever!**_

 _ **0o0o0o0**_

 _Deep fruity notes… a hint of floral… Perhaps it would be paired well with a light, milky cheese and some pears…_

Karen snorted. Who was she kidding? The liquid was bitter as always and made her gag slightly when she drank it. Bad grapes made bad wine, after all.

"Tastes like shit."

It didn't stop her from putting her mouth back on the opening of the bottle and tilting her head back, chugging deeply. If she drank enough, she'd stop caring… She'd stop hurting.

At least it was good for _something_ …

The lump forming in her throat made it hard to swallow. She stubbornly cleared her throat and wiped away the mistiness from her eyes. Here she was again; vocal chords sore from yelling and her blood still boiling. Despite the fact that she had come into this room on her own free will, she felt like a caged animal.

There was a soft knock at the door. Clumsily jamming the cork back into the wine bottle with the heel of her hand, Karen stashed it under her bed and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Yeah?" Her voice was laced with annoyance and came out much harder than she meant for it to.

The doorknob turned, revealing a woman with a perpetually worried expression. Sad green eyes, a slight frown, and worry lines etched into her forehead – Karen's mother, Sasha, rarely had a reason to smile anymore.

"Karen, you know you shouldn't talk to your father that way…" Her voice had already begun to soften as she slouched her shoulders.

 _It's as if she's given up before she's even begun_ , Karen thought with annoyance. She had half a mind to pull the stolen bottle out from under her bed and drink it in front of her just to see if Sasha was even capable of getting riled up anymore.

 _Meh. The stuff tastes like cow piss, anyway._

It would probably be more effective to move the bed and reveal her collection of empty bottles. She still doubted it would upset Sasha too much; Karen had a hunch the environment under her mother's bed didn't look much different.

"Then what do you expect me to say? 'Yes, Daddy Dearest, I'll gladly throw away all my hopes and dreams so you can keep living in this sick fantasy where everything is just _peachy_!'" Her mocking tone had a sing-songy lilt that caused her mother to cringe. "With our dying vineyard and our shitty wine and _no future_!"

Sasha bit her lip, hesitating as she stepped through the doorway. "Karen, why would you say something like that?" Her words were hurt, but they lacked any punch to them.

"Because I'm _dying_ here! I can't live like this! No one cares about _anything_! If Dad doesn't give a damn about this winery, why should I? And why should I be forced to stay?"

Sasha hesitated and bit her lip before she spoke. "Karen, life in the city won't-"

Her daughter's harsh voice cut her off. "I don't need to hear it again! Just because you gave up on your own dreams to spend your life with this… _loser_ doesn't mean that I have to, too!"

"That person you're calling a loser is your _father_!"

Karen stood up, pushing her way through the doorway. "Good, then you were actually listening. I guess I should find that comforting."

"Karen…" Sasha looked back at her daughter as her eyes filled with tears.

"I just don't understand how you can live like this. Doesn't it kill you every time you hear _Dance Under the Moon_ on the radio and instead of your dancing shoes and dress, you're wearing cracked old work boots and a frumpy skirt?"

Sasha's eyebrows furrowed; Karen was taking this too far…

"And doesn't it kill you that you don't have the spirit to dance to it anymore?" Karen shook her head. As a young girl, Karen could still recall Sasha with a slight zest for life as she twirled across the floorboards with hurt in her eyes. As the years passed, the dancing stopped until Karen's mother began to look ill when certain songs played on the radio. Regret was a powerful drug, after all. "It's like you don't even know _how_ to anymore. I don't owe him anything, and neither do you. There are much bigger dishonors than being an unmarried pregnant woman."

 _Willingly choosing an empty life, for example…_

 _We could've been free as the wind…_

Sasha sunk down on Karen's bed, holding her face in her hands. Karen knew she didn't doubt her.

Her mother's words were muffled. "I-I still… _love_ him…"

Karen shook her head, bracing herself against the door frame. Sasha's eyes were perpetually worried, her voice always hushed and shaky. There were never bruises that Karen could see, but there were many kinds of hurt. Karen's throat tightened; perhaps she was causing hurt, too, without realizing it…

 _I don't even know how to help you anymore, especially if you don't even want it…_

"I need to be alone for a while."

Sasha gave her a silent nod, not looking up. She waited for the sound of footsteps to disappear before reaching into the folds of her skirt for a small flask, which she drank from deeply.

0o0o0o0

Elderberry wine had a rich, earthy flavor with the right amount of tartness. It was the perfect drink for a brisk evening surrounded by friends.

Karen shrugged; she was alone on a sweltering summer night, but it still sounded good. After all, the elderberries were left over from the old man's farm when he was still alive. If her father had tried to grow elderberries, they'd surely shrivel up and die like everything else he touched.

Salty beach air, elderberry wine, the roar of the ocean waves breaking on shore – it was the three-part medicine she required.

She would have been able to acquire her bottle if it weren't for the nosy vineyard employee wandering into the cellar after her. Karen had tucked the bottle under her arm nonchalantly, but it was more than obvious she was stealing from her own parents' wares.

There was a disappointment in Kai's dark eyes that made her uncomfortable. "Miss Karen-"

He was _not_ going to make her feel guilty about this! Everyone always tried to shame her when she attempted to make herself feel better! This was all she had; didn't they have anything better to do? "Dammit, I told you to stop calling me that, Kai! It's embarrassing as hell!"

She gritted her teeth, casting him a poisonous glare. _I'm not a '_ Miss' _anything! I'm a horrible daughter and terrible person!_ She looked at the bottle in her hands with a frown _. And a thief, too…_

"Well, I'm not sure how else to address The Master's dau-"

"And _stop_ calling him _that_!" Karen slammed her fist onto an empty barrel, making a loud knock. "I-I'm so _sick_ of it!" Her voice was hoarse, but she didn't care.

Kai nervously rubbed at the back of his neck. "I'm afraid I don't understand why you're so angry…"

 _Does no one really understand or do they prefer to just not look around them?!_ Karen couldn't hold back anymore; she growled and threw the bottle in her hand at the far wall. It shattered against the slate floor and she watched in satisfaction as the shards of glass glittered under the fluorescent lights of the cellar. A puddle of deep purple liquid slowly spread across the floor and she struggled to pull her eyes away from it. "I'm sick of people acting like they're Dad's property! Mom does it! You do it! It's _disgusting_! I refuse to be a part of this stupidity!"

She watched in frustration as Kai flinched at her words and his large brown eyes remained widened in horror as he stared at the remains of the wine bottle on the floor. He was acting as if she had ripped out his heart and done the same thing to it. Letting out a sigh, she whirled on her heel and began to stomp up the stairs when she noticed Kai grab a broom from the corner of the room. "Don't you _dare_ clean that up," she threatened. "Make _him_ do it! Make him do something useful for once in his miserable life!"

She stormed up the stairs, blocking the sounds of the broom brushing against the floor. Of course he didn't listen. No one ever did.

0o0o0o0

Karen stood at the end of the pier, letting the ocean breeze blow in her face. This was as far as her chain would allow her to go. Here, she could pretend she was someone else – a strong woman boarding a ship in search of a new life, a better future…

But she wasn't. She was bitter. She was trapped. A worn tether called duty kept her where she was. She was angry and misunderstood. The young woman's eyes blurred with tears and she rubbed them away with her forearm, sniffing.

She really regretted throwing the bottle of wine at the wall and wished she could drown herself in it. She hated crying – she hated being weak. At least the wine took her mind off of things.

Perhaps she really wasn't that different than her short-fused father. Exploding and lashing out when she got angry, giving no regard to anyone else's feelings. She thought of Kai's spooked eyes, of her mother's weak posture as she quietly wept into her hands…

 _I guess I'm an awful person, too…_

Karen watched the whitecaps out on the water. The waves would die down as they reached the shore, weakly slapping the sand and dissolving into foam, retreating back into the ocean where they belonged. They never made the sand any wetter than it already was. They made no impact; it was if they had never been there in the first place…

 _I'm really not that different… For all my yelling and tantrum-throwing, I never manage to make anything but a bunch of noise…_

It was just like when she had accidentally gotten locked in the wine cellar as a child. She had cried and screamed for what felt like an eternity until her throat was hoarse, knocking on the door with her tiny fists. Panic rose in her as the sun fell; she wasn't quite tall enough to reach the light on the wall.

She may as well have been mute. After all, who would feel pity for a bratty, outspoken, rude little girl?

A hand had reached out to her as the darkness… A small hand, much like her own, with dirt under the fingernails and sticky from candy… He led her outside to freedom… Whoever it was, she hadn't had someone like that to support her in a long time. Perhaps help like that only came once in a lifetime…

She looked at the waves, wishing they would consume her.

 _What's the point, anyway? What is there left for me to do?_

"Karen?"

The young woman snapped back to reality to see a pair of brown eyes looking at her in a concerned matter. They weren't as wide as Kai's; they were smaller and shined with an aura of warmth and experience.

She was never really sure what to make of them.

"You looked like you wanted to jump in there for a moment…" Jack was not smiling.

Karen vaguely looked around her and realized with a jolt of fear that she was standing on the very edge of the pier, the edges of her boots hanging over the side.

He offered her his hand and she took it without question, feeling a little spooked as he pulled her beside him. The darkness had surrounded her again for a brief moment back there. She was desperate to divert the attention from herself as she blinked heavily, looking out at the farmer's dog barking at the incoming waves. She let out a snort. "Looks like someone's having fun… Doesn't seem too clever."

Jack's eyes softened as he let out a good-natured laugh. "I'm not about to scold a puppy for enjoying life."

Karen was taken aback by his statement. She bit her lip, wondering if he thought she was cold-hearted for her comment. She looked down at their clasped hands. His hands, while clean, still had dirt under the fingernails…

"What's wrong?"

 _No, it couldn't be…_

Karen snatched her hand away, cheeks blazing. "I-I never gave you permission to hold my hand!" She folded her arms across her chest and pouted, keeping her eyes glued to the young dog.

"Whoops, my bad." A smirk played at his lips as he saw the hint of a grin she was desperately trying to hide. "I hope it wasn't too horrible," he chuckled, giving her a playful look.

 _Was that a_ wink _?!_

The young woman's face caught on fire as she fought the giddiness rising in her stomach. She had been angry at her parents and Kai; now was not the time for smiles and laughter.

 _But didn't I come here for relief? Is it really so bad to have a little fun?_

Perhaps she should go back home – back to her crying mother, roaring father, and a friendly but painfully clueless yes-man…

She tucked her hair behind her ear, shyly avoiding his gaze. "I guess it wasn't that bad, but don't make a habit of it, okay?"

Karen held her breath, dreading both a possible acquiesce and a disagreement. Instead, Jack walked onto the beach, taking a small rock and throwing out as far as he could into the surf. His dog barked at the splash and Karen curiously looked at the pair, silently asking what he was doing.

"How far can you throw?"

Unsure of how to respond, she joined him and picked up a stone, throwing it into the waves.

Karen was given a hum in approval. "Y'know, sometimes I imagine all my cares and troubles are in this stone. It feels pretty good to just throw away."

She bit back a snort as she picked up another rock. _What a childish way of looking at things!_ Still… this was someone who was thrust into a hopeless situation – a complete greenhorn being put in charge of an overgrown, fruitless farm, complete with depressingly empty barns. Perhaps he didn't feel like he had any control in his life, either.

 _Maybe we're not that different after all… But he is still able to laugh and find the beauty in things…_

She couldn't tell if she loved or hated him for that.

Karen ran her thumb over the smooth white rock in her hand. Anger, tears, broken dreams, and hopelessness… She focused her anger into it and let it fly away, watching it sail over the waves, landing with a loud splash.


End file.
